Building the plane while flying it
Building (a house) from scratch
Over the last 10 years while simultaneously building relatively small structures, I've looked at various properties looking to purchase a home. But about three months ago something became abundantly clear: no home would give me the satisfaction I was looking for. I had to build it.
If you know me from music you know I live in the worlds I write, from Wonderland, to Finchley Road, Walking Music and Cereal Sounds. Music, for me, is always one element of a larger whole.
I’ve never held a long term full time job. Truthfully, I’ve been fired from most of them. And they were good jobs. I’m just not designed that way. It’s taken many years to see that.
Perhaps I wasn't ready to admit that to myself.
There is nothing in my life that has not come by way of having my hands directly in. The work that usually finds me is often attracted by the work that I am doing. It’s never the inverse. The day I launched Cereal & Such I was offered a creative director role at Apple. I had never “creative directed” anything in my life.
But that was my school. That is where I learned what a true Director is. I was thrown into the deep end to fend for myself in a sea of suits, big words and company cards.
But that is where I learned to swim in deep waters.
I like hard problems. Difficult ones. Very little distracts my focus when I’m engaged. And difficulty, for me, is the carrot on the stick. I can’t explain why. I was so locked into the construction of building Cereal and Such, of building Office and Gallery that as I look back, I realize those were the moments where I was most free.
I haven’t embarked on a new build since then. There were critical Truths I needed to clarify before another opportunity swept me away. So I went home. Home to take my Mother to work and have dinners with my Father. Nothing beyond that. My parents are true builders. My father, a true craftsman, can find his way around anything. And my Mother, a true Artist. They’ve managed to purchase a really nice home for us holding retail jobs. They are True Creators.
I’m no qualified builder, I write songs and I do not know how to read a line of music. I don’t know the key of “C”. It’s all feel for me. I can’t explain it but I know when I know.
And the clarity that came, the clarity in realizing no one was coming to my aid, that I was no damsel in distress, that if I wanted to have a home that aligned precisely with my near-specific needs, I would have to build it.
Perhaps I was looking for permission to do the thing I’ve wanted to do since I was very young: built a world and live within it.
It’s been 10 years since I began Posture, Cereal & Such and much of what I now see as a chapter informing the next 10 years.